you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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