Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize