i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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