I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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