Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Two words: nipple clamps
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