So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
