we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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