My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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