Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
