It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
