She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
