Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
