I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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