THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
