new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I checked into jail on foursquare
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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