Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize