Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
