we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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