Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
