True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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