I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
