im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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