please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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