is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
