I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
