everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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