There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
