the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
