At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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