I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My vagina just recognized that song.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Randomize
