Don't you send me to vm
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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