who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
