we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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