He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
