he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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