And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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