4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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