i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
