My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
