After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
vagina is talking i cant
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I need a beard to bite.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
