We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
