doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
