these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
