just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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