So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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