its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
