I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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