Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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