When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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