Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
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