Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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