I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
