I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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