kristin has been a bad kristin
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
