So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
