i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
