If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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