I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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