I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
