She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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