So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
