she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
