i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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