they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
