You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize