Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
