i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
