I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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