I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
