My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
