What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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